Understanding Emotional Distress and Self Harm
Sometimes our emotions can feel confusing, overwhelming or difficult to put into words. We may know that something doesn’t feel right but struggle to understand what we’re feeling or why. At other times, we may understand exactly how we’re feeling, but we find those emotions incredibly difficult to manage. Life experiences, relationships, loss, trauma, mental health difficulties, and ongoing pressures can all leave us feeling emotionally overwhelmed in different ways.
For some people, self harm can become a way of coping with emotional distress. While everyone’s experience is different, self harm is often much more complex than it may appear on the surface. Self harm is often a way of managing emotional distress when other ways of coping feel out of reach.
The relationship someone has with self harm can feel deeply personal and at times conflicting. There may be a part of you that wants things to be different, while another part feels frightened to let go of something that has helped you cope. Those mixed feelings are more common than many people realise. Having a safe space to explore them can help you make sense of what’s happening.
There’s no single story behind self harm
How Counselling Can Help
Counselling isn’t about taking away your coping strategy before you’re ready. Instead, it’s about taking the time to understand what’s happening beneath the surface. Together we can explore the thoughts, feelings and experiences that may be contributing to your distress. This can help you build self-understanding and develop other ways of managing difficult emotions when the time feels right. There is no pressure to have everything figured out, or to make changes before you’re ready. We will work together at a pace that feels right for you, creating a space where curiosity, compassion and understanding can help you make sense of your experiences. Through my experience supporting people affected by self harm, I’ve learned that lasting change often begins with feeling safe enough to explore and understand what’s happening.
For Parents
Discovering that your child is self harming can be frightening. Many parents describe feeling shocked, confused, helpless or unsure what to do next. These reactions are completely understandable.
You don’t need to have all the answers straight away. Taking the time to gently understand what may be happening beneath the surface can help both you and your child feel less alone. With the right support and understanding, it is possible to move forwards together.